Fit for Life: Keep Suffering…. Or Make These Changes

Fit for Life: Keep Suffering…. Or Make These Changes

A few months ago, a gentleman in my BNI networking group, who runs a group home sanctioned by DCYF, mentioned that they were looking for foster parents and mentors for the residents of his facility.

 

After some thought, I followed up with him that day and asked what was required to become a mentor. He explained the commitment, and I agreed, hoping for another chance to help impact a young man's life and let them see the light.

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I have been trying to do the same for the Shea High Football team for several years now. My nephew is now 19, so he has little interest in what I have to say these days, so I figured this would be a good way to help a kid in need.

 

Fast forward to this week. As I walked with this young man, another boy from the group decided to join us. While walking, I acknowledged that "you guys have a pretty decent situation, considering the circumstances."

 

The group homes they live in are all nice, well-maintained homes with food, air conditioning, nice common areas with TVs, video games, and a basketball court on a residential compound in a nice cul-de-sac.   

 

However, after saying all that, the young man continued to tell me how much he didn't like being there.

I asked him why, what the problem was, and what it was specifically that he didn't like.

 

He said the people here always try to change you and make you do productive things to better yourself. He followed up that statement with, "Sometimes people don't want to change. Therefore, they can't force me to change."

 

I stopped dead in our tracks, and I said you are absolutely correct; you can't change people who don't want to change; however, change is inevitable in order to improve your situation. I followed with, if you don't like your situation and don't want to change, you need to get comfortable where you are.

 

I continued to explain that certain behaviors and circumstances got him to where he is now. However, in order to improve his situation, he needs to change his attitude and actions; otherwise, his situation will never change.

 

I told him that nobody would ride up on a white horse and save him and that we needed to create our own outcome.

 

I also gave him the benefit of the doubt because the kids in this program are not yet 18 years old. In my experience, it is not a child's fault that he was born into a bad situation in many instances.

 

However, once you turn 18, you are responsible for everything in your life and have the power and control to change your circumstances.

 

I ended with, complaining and crying victim isn’t going to help, and he needs to pave his own destiny by making the changes in his life that will propel him to a better situation.

 

While on my walk today, I thought about this situation a bit deeper and realized that what I said to that 17-year-old applies to all of us. We either need to make changes to unfavorable circumstances or get comfortable being where we are at. Complaining won't change anything. We need to be the ones taking action and controlling our situation.

 

Here are some examples that we hear and see daily:

 

My job sucks, and I hate my boss. If this sounds like you, the answer is simple, find another job or open a business and work for yourself. Everyone is looking for good help these days, and if you provide value to someone and are a great worker, you shouldn't have an issue. Otherwise, you will dread going to work every day forever, so get used to it.

 

On the flip side, I hear business owners complain, my help sucks, you can't find good workers, or no one wants to work these days. Well, maybe you are a shitty leader, and no one wants to work for you.

 

In my experience, you will never "find" good help; you need to develop good people to be strong workers.

 

My team was raw, inexperienced, newly certified trainers until we developed them into world-class coaches and leaders. Now, they have a mission and purpose, and they show up breathing fire and changing lives daily.

 

It was when I changed my mindset, evaluated myself, and became determined to become a better leader that I was able to assemble the team I currently have. I am still a work in progress, but I continue to make changes to improve our situation, and I will never settle for where we currently are.

 

Leadership is a journey to a destination you will never reach, so I know the work will never end.

 

Regarding your health and fitness, you can't complain that you are sick and out of shape if you refuse to change your lifestyle.

 

If you are on medication for pre-diabetes yet continue to eat sugar and processed food, prepare to stay on medication forever.

 

If you are out of breath walking up stairs but refuse to exercise regularly, you will always be out of breath walking up stairs.

 

If you have many aches and pains throughout your body, but you continue to sleep on a sofa or a dilapidated mattress, your sleep will continue to suffer, and all your aches and pains will continue.

 

If your relationship is toxic, either work on making it better or leave. If you try but still can't salvage it, make amends, and be happy, then prepare to tolerate living in an unfavorable situation and having a miserable existence.

 

I want to leave you with a paragraph written by one of our newest hires. I want you to read his words and let them resonate with you. Also note that this is the caliber of people and mindset we base our hiring process on.

 

"I've learned that if you want better, you must do better. If you want change, often there's something in YOU that must change first.

 

Motivation comes and goes, but discipline, hard work, and intentionality are always better when it comes to accomplishing your goals.

 

"I want to encourage everyone that you can do it if you put your mind to it! That goes with anything in life! So what are you waiting for... LET'S GO!!!" - Coach Kyle

 

Matt