Newport Manners & Etiquette: Hatiquette + Wedding Invitations
Didi Lorillard, GoLocalProv Manners + Etiquette Expert
Newport Manners & Etiquette: Hatiquette + Wedding Invitations
Wedding hatiquette
Is it appropriate to wear a hat to an outdoor wedding that starts at 6:00 PM in Georgia? Jenny, Atlanta
Traditionally, the rule of thumb is that the size of a woman's hat deminshes as the day progresses. Often called a cocktail or dinner hat, a fitted, brimless hat worn in the evening is an accessory that can be part of your ensemble. For instance, the bell-shaped evening cloche can be elegant and sophisticated in a soft fabric, beaded, or lace (worn by a bride) with a delicate embellishment, such as an appliqué, embroidery, or faux jewel. In the evening, you want to stay away from a floppy hat with a brim that would make social kissing awkward and really hard to manage on the dance floor. A small decorative hat is a fabulous fashion statement. Definitely wear one that is fitted (possibly pinned to your hair) and you'll be very chic. Alternatively, you could wear a beautiful fascinator (decorated headband) to a six o'clock wedding in Georgia. ~Didi
GET THE LATEST BREAKING NEWS HERE -- SIGN UP FOR GOLOCAL FREE DAILY EBLASTMother-of-the-bride invitation faux pas
My son is the groom. His fiancee's mother wrote out the invitations. On the list I sent her, in the far right column I had included the names that would go on the inside envelope. Well, the invitation ended up not having an inside envelope and she did not include ANY of the names. I called her and she said, "Well, they know that their family is invited." That's how she addressed her invitations as well. My sister called and asked, "Are the boys invited?" Even though she knows they are but could see that something was up with the invite. I think I should send a separate card to those affected. What is appropriate to say...ooops, we made a mistake. Apologize and ask them to include the total number for their family attending on the reply card??? HELP Name withheld
Never over-explain. This wasn't your fault. Likewise, you don't want to be responsible for bad karma by making a big deal out of the faux pas. More than likely, the MOB is overwhelmed by all the many details of her daughter's wedding. In reality, little damage has occurred. Now, you can control it. You only have to attend to the affected guests on your list.
If there is a reply card, guests will fill in the number of family members attending. I might call those guests on your list to say, "We are so hoping that you understand your whole family is invited to the wedding. Just let me know who is coming from your family, so I can tell the mother-of-the-bride." Gently, make it sound like the oversight that it probably was.
Weddings are all abut the memories we create. You don't want to be the person who's responsible for a bad memory. Take control of the situation and contact your close friends and relatives personally to simply say that there was an"oversight." Don't complain about the MOB. Take it from me, I have been there. You need to make the mother-of-the-bride your new best friend. It will not serve you, or your son, if you're disloyal to each other. ~Didi
Rehearsal dinner dress code
I am having a very nice clambake as my rehearsal dinner. I was envisioning men wearing khakis and blazers with Vineyard Vines-like belts and ties (optional) and women wearing pretty sundresses, no flip flops! How should I list the dress code on the invitation? I am worried that people will be underdressed if I put "dressy casual." And worried that if I put "cocktail attire" it will be too over the top... What would you recommend? C.H., Location withheld
You don't want to get too tricky or complicated on your rehearsal dinner invitation. Go with the location, which for a clambake would be nautical and list the dress code as "Jackets and Ties." Guests will get the picture. They'll know they don't have to wear a suit as they would for the dress codes, "Cocktail Attire" or "Suits & Dresses." You don't want to ask too much from from guests, many of whom will have to go to great expense, between the wedding gift, transportation, accommodations, outfits, etc. Don't suggest that they buy a new tie for your clambake.
When you list the dress code as "Jackets and Ties," nobody will wear flip-flops, and the women will dress appropriately. ~Didi
Sending invitations to young adults living at home
How do I address a wedding invitation to my ex-sister-in-law and her two grown children living at home, who are my niece and nephew? M.O., Location withheld
All guests eighteen years old and older receive their own wedding invitation. The exception would be married couples or partners in a committed relationship, who would receive one invitation addressed to both. If the two grown adult relatives are old enough to vote, they are old enough to reply to your invitation themselves. I might add that it is extremely important in terms of headcount that you know whether or not they've committed to attend. Once more, they are more apt to come to the wedding if sent their own invitation. If your niece is eighteen or older, she is addressed as Ms. Your nephew is addressed as Mr. ~Didi
Do you have a question for Didi? Visit her at NewportManners.com. We can withhold your name and location. Didi researches etiquette and all matters of manners for her book,"Newport Etiquette." Previous weekly GoLocalProv.com columns may be found by typing in Didi Lorillard in the above righthand search.
Spring Has Arrived: 25 Great Events in New England
New England Family Fun Festival
Providence, RI - April 26-27, 2014
In April, the Rhode Island Convention Center will host The New England Family Fun Festival, which offers fun and educational activities for the entire family. The festivities will include rides, games, bounce houses, face painting, rock climbing, live performances by The Toe Jam Puppet Band, Vanessa Trien, Story Tellers Len Cabral, Carolyn Martino, Tammy Titus and Valerie Tutson, Marine Biology and Aquarium by Biomes, Arts & Workshops and the Providence Friar’s Official DJ, Finesse playing music during family competitions like Lego building and Simon Says. Festivities will take place from 11 a.m. - 8 p.m.
Admission: $12 for adults, $7 for kids
For more information, click here.
118th Boston Marathon
Boston, MA - April 21, 2014
The Boston Marathon is the world’s oldest annual marathon and one of the world’s best-known road racing events with over 20,000 participants. Amateur and professional runners flock to Boston from all over the world to compete on the hilly terrain. The race starts west of the city in Hopkinton and ends in Boston. Approximately 500,000 spectators line the 26.2-mile course each year, making the Boston Marathon New England’s most widely viewed sporting event.
For more information, click here.
Virtu Art Festival
Westerly, RI - May 24-25
More than 185 selected artists from New England and beyond participate in this free two-day exhibit and sale of artwork and fine crafts. Featuring food, live entertainment and free children’s activities. This event, which will be held at Wilcox Park, will take place rain or shine.
For more information, click here.
Knights! Community Day Renaissance Faire
Worcester, MA - March 28-30, 2014
Later this month, the Worcester Art Museum will celebrate the opening of Knights!, a major arms and armor exhibition. The festivities include music; costumed performers; theater; storytelling; and art making workshops. On Saturday, come dressed as your favorite historical figure: knights, pirates, princesses, and more. On Sunday, the museum will celebrate fantasy. Dress as an inspired super hero and enjoy all the fairies, wizards, and other colorful characters wandering around the galleries. Each day will have great food and beverages for sale.
For more information, click here.
Pond Skimming at Sugarbush
Lincoln Peak, VT - March 29, 2014
An excellent spectator event, the "Annual Rite of Spring at Sugarbush" is oldest continually running pond skimming event in the country. Dive right into spring in your craziest costume. Registration from 9am-11am in the Gate House Cafeteria. Limited to the first 100 competitors.
For more information, click here.
The Annual Bud Light Reggae Fest
Carrabassett Valley, ME - April 10-13, 2014
Held at the Sugarloaf Mountain Resort, this annual spring party draws thousands of spring skiing and reggae enthusiasts to the mountains of Maine. Jam out to sensational reggae tunes. The biggest winter music event in Maine mixes with perfect spring skiing.
For more information, click here.
Gaspee Days Celebration
Warwick, RI - June 13-15
In June of 1772 brave colonists from Rhode Island burned the British revenue schooner, HMS Gaspee, in what has become recognized as the first overt action leading to the American Revolutionary War. Since 1965, the village of Pawtuxet has commemorated this act with its annual Gaspee Days Celebration. The event features colonial fife and drum corps, Civil War era units, modern day drum and bugle corps, and more.
For more information, click here.
Wildquack Duck River Festival
Jackson, NH - May 25, 2014
Held at Jackson Village Park, this outdoor action-packed day in the White Mountains of New Hampshire brings singles, families, strangers, businesses and guests all together to forget about life’s trials and tribulations if only for a few short hours. Laugh out loud as 3,500 yellow rubber ducks make their way downstream to the finish line.
For more information, click here.
The Atlantic Cup
Newport, RI - May 24-25, 2014
Pack a picnic and come down to Fort Adams for the Atlantic Cup's Inshore Series. Teams will race in Narragansett Bay in the third and final leg of America's only Class 40 sailing race. With an up close view of the start and finish line, live commentary and fun activities for all ages, you won't want to miss any of the action.
For more information, click here.
1st Annual 4B Festival
New Haven, CT - March 22, 2014
From craft brews to bacon, bourbons to barbecue; come enjoy the finest flavors from around the region to tantalize your taste buds and tickle your senses. The 4B Festival will bring together national and local purveyors all in one place to offer the most delicious and creative samplings to “4B” aficionados, all highlighted with musical performances, interactive art displays and live competitions among home brewers, BBQ taste tests and a bacon eating contest for the real meat eaters. If you wish to purchase tickets, act quickly because only limited quantities are left.
For more information, click here.
Great Chowder Cook-off
Newport, RI - June 7, 2014
Sponsored by Polar Seltzer, the Newport's Great Chowder Cook-off is the largest and longest running (over 30 years), chowder festival in New England. Located right in the buzz of historic downtown Newport, this event features national and regional competitors. Festival-goers will taste-test a myriad of traditional and exotic chowders from all kitchens, then vote for the best in three categories: Clam, Seafood and Creative.
For more information, click here.
Worcester VegFest
Worcester, MA - April 6, 2014
Now in its fifth year, the Worcester VegFest is a FREE festival that brings together Worcesterites to celebrate vegetarianism animal-friendly, environmentally sustainable, and healthy lifestyle. The event features socially responsible businesses, national inspiring speakers, free samples of tasty vegan food, and a vegan food court.
For more information, click here.
Misquamicut Springfest
Westerly, Rhode Island - May 9-11, 2014
Held at Misquamicut State Beach, SpringFest will include beer, blues, BBQ and rock & roll tent with entertainment throughout the week, a Ferris wheel and major rides, a petting zoo, pony rides and more. New this year: arts & crafts displays featuring local vendors. The event also includes fireworks on Friday night.
For more information, click here.
Nantucket Wine Festival
Nantucket Island, MA - May 14-18, 2014
What better reason to visit one of America’s most famous vacation islands? Come enjoy this boutique experience of world class wines and award winning food. Over the past 17 years, the Nantucket Wine Festival has become one of the most celebrated wine and food events in the country. You must be 21 or older to purchase tickets to events that include wine or spirits. Valid ID required for entry. The Opening Reception, Harbor Gala, La Fête and Grand Tastings are the heart and soul of the five day experience.
For more information, click here.
Art in the City Gala
Worcester, MA - May 9, 2014
Join the Family Health Center of Worcester on May 9 for an evening of art and entertainment featuring a great selection of original artwork created by dozens of local artists. The evening includes live music by the Kallin Johnson Trio with a cameo performance by Dale LePage, a live auction hosted by local celebrity Jen Carter from WXLO, a wide selection of gourmet hors d'oeuvres and much more. Whether you are new to the arts, an avid collector, or just out for a night of fun, don’t miss this celebration of the arts.
For more information, click here.
Sea Music Festival at Mystic Seaport
Mystic, Connecticut - June 12-15, 2014
In June, Mystic Seaport will host its annual Sea Music Festival, one of the world’s premier sea music events. Thousands of people gather each year to hear Mystic Seaport’s Chantey Staff along with performers from around the globe carry on the classic musical traditions of the Golden Age of Sail. Enjoy featured music from maritime cultures around the world, including the United Kingdom, Italy, Portugal, Australia, Iceland, Poland, Netherlands, France, Canada and Africa, as well as native peoples within the United States.
For more information, click here.
Annual Vermont Maple Festival
St. Albans, VT - April 25-27, 2014
This festival celebrates the state of Vermont’s signature product: pure Vermont maple. It offers maple exhibits, cooking demonstrations, sugarhouse tours and a maple buffet. Enjoy Main Street entertainment, pancake breakfasts, fiddlers’ and youth talent shows, a carnival, an historical museum, delightful downtown shops and a Grand Parade.
For more information, click here.
Antique Car Rally
Sturbridge, MA - June 1, 2014
In June, Old Sturbridge Village will host its annual Antique Car Rally. More than 50 pre-1946 automobiles will be showcased on the Common throughout the day and a grand procession of the autos will take place at 3:30 p.m.
For more information, click here.
Down East Spring Birding Festival
Cobscook Bay Area, ME - May 23-26, 2014
The Annual Down East Spring Birding Festival provides a unique experience in “the real Maine” where birders can get out on their own and observe a great variety of birds in diverse natural environments. The festival offers birders various self-guided explorations as well as guided hikes, boat tours, and presentations led by area experts. Over 400 bird species have been sighted in Maine, and almost three-quarters of them have been seen in the Cobscook Bay area.
For more information, click here.
Boston Jazz Week 2014
Boston, MA - April 21 - 30, 2014
Jazz Week is a collaborative, decentralized celebration of the music by the entire Greater Boston jazz community. This year’s event is being held one week earlier than usual – launching on Boston Marathon Day (also Patriot’s Day holiday). Once again Jazz Week will cover a 10-day period, ending on another special day – International Jazz Day, Wednesday, April 30.
For more information, click here.
Boothbay Annual Fisherman’s Festival
Boothbay Harbor, ME - April 25-27, 2014
Trap hauling, cod fish relay, old-fashioned fish fry, Miss Shrimp Princess Pageant, lobster crate race and other contests are all a part of this celebration of fishing in this beautiful mid-coast Maine town. Boothbay Harbor, in mid-coast Maine, boasts the largest fleet of excursion boats on the coast for viewing lighthouses, seals, islands, whales and puffins.
For more information, click here.
Brew Woo
Worcester, MA - April 19, 2014
On Saturday, April 19, The Ranch will present Worcesters Original Craft Beer Festival, Brew Woo. Now in its fourth year, the event will feature two sessions from 1:00pm to 4:00pm and 6:00pm to 9:00pm in the Convention Center of the DCU Center. The event will feature breweries with craft beers and local brews, live music, and several vendors.
Admission: $35.00; $30.00 in advance
For more information, click here.
Meriden Daffodil Festival
Meriden, CT - April 26-27, 2014
Outdoor family festival with more than 600,000 daffodils on display (61 different varieties) in the 1,800-acre historic Hubbard Park. Events include parade, juried crafts show, three stages of entertainment, fireworks, amusement area and food tent.
For more information, click here.
Annual Cape Cod Maritime Festival
Cape Cod, MA - May 19 – June 21, 2014
The month-long event will include a variety of Cape-wide maritime-themed activities, including guided kayak excursions, lighthouse and walking tours, nautical art exhibits, the Annual Cape Cod Maritime History Symposium at the Cape Cod Museum of Natural History, the Wellfleet Harborfest and Nautical Flea Market and more. Maritime Days will culminate with the Annual Cape Cod Quahog Day on the Cape Cod Canal on June 21st.
For more information, click here.
Newport Craft Beer Festival
Newport, RI - April 26
The 3rd annual Newport Craft Beer Festival will be held at the Great Friends Meeting House Lawn. Every brewery in Rhode Island will be in attendance as well as many from New England and all over the US. The event will also feature a home brewing demonstration, live music and food from local restaurants.
For more information, click here.
