Organize + Energize: Is Clutter & Disorganization Affecting Your Relationships at Home?

Organize + Energize: Is Clutter & Disorganization Affecting Your Relationships at Home?

Is clutter and disorganization affecting your relationships at home?

Do you find yourself frequently having arguments with your family about the way your home is kept? Do you play the blame game? Do you repeatedly blame your significant other for making your life difficult? Is it your significant other’s fault that you are living in chaos when you are just as disorganized as they are?

Here are 6 ways to approach this touchy subject:

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Have the conversation. If you are both living in clutter and disorganization, schedule a time to sit and discuss what is going on in your home. Don’t do this in passing. Schedule a time on the calendar to have this discussion. If it’s important enough to argue about, then it’s important enough to schedule a time and discuss.  Grab a pen and paper and jot down everything that is bothering each of you. Don’t worry if your thoughts aren’t organized. You can go back later and organize the list. After the conversation is over, create a to-do list of the things you want to accomplish. 

Involve the children. If your children are old enough, involve them in this process. I also find that when both parents are disorganized, the children don’t have a chance to get organized, because they have no guidance. Often the parents will get on their kids about being disorganized and constantly will tell them to straighten and clean up their rooms. Who is telling the parent’s to clean and straighten their rooms?  

Make a plan together. After you both have the conversation that something needs to be done, make a plan and schedule a day on the calendar to tackle an area. Remember, don’t look at your project on a whole because you will get overwhelmed and you will shut down and nothing will get done. Break the projects into small pieces. Have your to-do list handy and be sure to cross off when a project gets completed.

Take responsibility. I find that often the wife will blame the husband for having too much stuff, and the husband will blame the wife when usually, they both have a significant amount of stuff. If you are the one that is disorganized and cluttered, admit to it and make a plan to fix it.  

Respect each other’s belongings. Don’t be quick to tell your significant other to toss something when you aren’t ready to toss your own stuff. It’s never ok to toss the other’s person’s stuff without their approval. When you begin to declutter and get organized, each person should take responsibility for their areas in the home that they frequent the most. 

What are you fighting about? Are you arguing about the laundry that is in piles or the disorganized state of the bedrooms and living spaces? Are you not keeping track of bills that need to be paid? Is paper taking over your home? When the blame gets passed back and forth, each person tends to shut down and nothing gets accomplished. Leave the communication lines open when you are physically starting to go through items.   Figure out what you are arguing about and again, have that conversation and make a plan to tackle these projects. 

You have to start somewhere. How many times have you tried to tackle this situation? Are you ready to move forward? This process will be easier if everybody who is involved with the home takes responsibility and you work on this project as a family. You will feel like a weight has been lifted and will wonder why you didn’t tackle these projects sooner!

Kristin Carcieri-MacRae, the founder and owner of Organizing in RI, has always enjoyed finding creative ways to streamline the environment around her. She has appeared on air on Patricia Raskin's Positive Business Radio and her articles have been published in the Rhode Island Small Business Journal and New England Home Life. Kristin's CD, Organizing Basics, is a 1-hour guide for the person who wants to get organized but doesn't know where to start. She is also available for organizing workshops. Tune into her weekly radio show, Organize, Energize! on talkstreamradio.com.