Dr. Ed Iannuccilli: Shifting Blame in the Middle of Chaos

Dr. Ed Iannuccilli: Shifting Blame in the Middle of Chaos

As I listen to so many people unabashedly assigning blame during this coronavirus outbreak, I think of something that happened to me when I was a kid. One day, while playing street soccer, one of the other kids kicked a ball that went off my shoulder and headed toward the window of one of our more jumpy neighbors. The ball crashed through the window and, as soon as I saw it, I knew we would one day be taking a trip to Benny’s with window on wagon to get it repaired. A fast-stepping, buxom woman in a black dress and with a needle through her hair bun emerged, rolling pin in hand, screaming, “Who did this?” Who did this? I’m calling the police.”

The kicker pointed to me and cried, “He did. Right there. That kid. He did it.” Though initially, I was willing to accept part of the responsibility, I was stunned as he shunted all of it to me!

“Why did you blame me when we are both responsible?” Shoulders slumped, he looked at his Keds. Even at ten years old, I knew he no longer could be a close friend. He shifted the blame.

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Nowadays, there are buckets full of blame being thrown around like hot potatoes, a commodity that few wish to catch. It seems more a strategy: throw the blame on someone else’s wall to see if it will stick. It is rather unsettling.

Simply put, blame is to consider someone else responsible for a misdeed, a failure or an undesirable outcome. “Our team did what we had to. It was the coach’s fault for the loss.” “Don’t blame me. You made the decision.” “Who? Me?” Common refrains.

Is dispatching blame to another appropriate?  Is it acceptable? Warranted? Like many things in life, our drill of blaming is often done for the wrong reason, at the wrong time, in an inappropriate manner or, even worse, for the wrong ethics. What happened to integrity? Or conscience?

We are in the middle of a crisis that is taking the lives of our citizens. There are many reasons why, when, and where it happened. Is that important now, particularly since our country is in a misdirected chaos? Should that be the focus garnering so much attention, particularly since we need to direct our energies to a plan to make people better, to saving lives! To making a plan?!

We should be inspired by leaders who convey confidence and comfort. They need to focus their attention on solutions . . . for us. Shunting blame bolsters negative energy. Nothing good comes from it.

Find a way to order the chaos. Correct the lack of direction. Redirect attention to positive. With all that is necessary for a country fractured by the epidemic, please, leaders, just do it.

Put your minds to solutions. To cooperation.  Goodness, we have so many things that need solving.

Losing a friend as a result of a childhood disagreement is one thing. Losing lives is another.

Dr. Ed Iannuccilli - As the author of three popular memoirs, “Growing up Italian; Grandfather’s Fig Tree and Other Stories”, “What Ever Happened to Sunday Dinner” and “My Story Continues: From Neighborhood to Junior High.”  Learn more here.