Thoughts for the New Year - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
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Thoughts for the New Year - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
“Go see this guy. He owes me one,” said an older acquaintance.
“What do you mean he owes you one?”
“I did a favor for him twenty years ago.”
GET THE LATEST BREAKING NEWS HERE -- SIGN UP FOR GOLOCAL FREE DAILY EBLAST“Wait. What? You did someone a favor twenty years ago, and you want to collect on that favor? Do you keep a list or something?”
“Yeah, sure do. When I’m invited to a wedding, I look ta see what they gave ta my kid, and I do the same for their kid. That’s it. Nothin’ more.” He had to understand my frustrated, annoyed, puzzled scowl.
Incredulous, I continued, “Have you considered doing something for someone and asking for nothing in return?”
“Nah. Why wouldja do that?”
As I turned on my heel, head down, I glanced back and blurted over my shoulder, “Because you should feel good helping someone for no other reason than to help.”
And that will be my New Year message. Feel good. Do something for someone just because you want to and can.
Doing good to do good. Is that not the point of giving? When you do something for others, they sometimes feel obligated to do something in return. Not necessary. You should not expect it. The joy of giving gives you just that: Joy. Research has shown that generosity improves mood, reduces stress, and builds self-esteem. There is a distinct correlation between feeling happy and an altruistic act of charity.
What did my acquaintance lose in the giving part? He lost the good feeling, the joy, the satisfaction in making a difference. Is that not what giving is? My grandparents and parents were always helping someone in need. It was a necessary mutual support culture that helped them, and so many others, survive in a new country. And it made them feel good.
There is value in doing favors for others. If you expect nothing in return, you will be repaid in unexpected ways.
One further thought. Empathy should be part of the equation. And when you consider the gift of giving, add a pinch of integrity, honesty, and kindness. It will lift you to an even greater level. We need much more of those attributes these days.
The gift need not be something tangible. It could be something simpler. How about this? Call a friend every day. Ask if they need anything, a coffee, a moment to share, a time to listen. Or just chat. You will be surprised how good it will make you both feel. I will make a point of trying to do it every day this year.
The more you give, the more you will receive, in quiet, unanticipated ways, even though you may not want to receive.
Open your hearts. Talk to people. Say hello to passers-by. Look for the smiles and the responses. Come along. Hop on the giving train. Contribute to the happiness of the collective. Do you know what? Kindness, and giving, are infectious. How about an epidemic of that?
I’m off to call a friend.
