Finneran: Dumb and Dumber

Finneran: Dumb and Dumber

The movie goes on and on, and now we have a summer sequel, with a big opening night at Washington State University. “Dumb” are the beleaguered parents and the bullied students. “Dumber” are the loony professors of political correctness. “Dumbest” has yet to be determined………will the sadly uninformed parents and students beat out the phony fraudulent professors in their race to the bottom of the idiot barrel? Will campus administrators cave to the loony calls of tenured fools and thus capture the prize of stunning stupidity?

A story this week caught my attention. An ethnic studies professor at Washington State University promised serious punishment to any student in her class who used the words “he”, “she”, “male”, “female”, or “illegal immigrant." The threatened punishments ranged from dismissal from class, loss of credit for attendance, failure for the particular class assignment, and failure for the entire course.

For this type of tin pot tyranny an out-of-state student is required to pay almost $ 40,000 a year. Pity the parents who finance this nonsense. Pity the student who actually enrolls in such a class. Pity the state whose taxpayers subsidize such appalling indoctrination. And pity the nation whose college graduates emerge from such swamps. 

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By the way, who would hire the graduating students whose immersion in such courses shows up on their student transcripts? Having been indoctrinated to be routinely “offended” at the ordinary and proper use of the English language, such students are pretty much useless in the real world. In fact they’re worse than useless for they find “hate” and “offense” in everything, thus becoming disruptive to the productive people all around them.

Of course their unemployable status only goes to self-affirm the nonsense that has been planted in their empty heads by profusely lettered and profoundly ignorant PHDs. That nonsense is the notion that the entire world is against them, that it is a violent, sexist, and hateful world. By gosh, that’s a helpful attitude to impart………..that the use of pronouns such as “he” and “she” is an intimidating assault. With what type of language do these professors choose to describe real assault, real violence? Apparently unable to distinguish between routine, humdrum, and utterly inoffensive speech and the relatively rare but real issue of intentional assault, such professors go nuclear, obliterating everything in their orbit. They should not be paid or patronized by any sensible person.

Back to those poor bewildered souls, the parents. They are already beaten to a pulp by tuition bills. Then they get lectured to by an ungrateful community of pampered administrators, tenured revolutionaries, and their mentally stampeded children. Why more of them don’t put their foot down and stop writing checks is beyond me. 

First step for parents---take an hour or two to examine the course catalogues provided to precious little Biff and Molly as they begin their totally subsidized “independent” lives. Then put a bold red “X” right through the trendy foolish courses. This is what is known as being a parent.

Second step for parents---take an hour or two to determine the nature of the orientation sessions as well as the required first year courses. Don’t hesitate to protest at the Soviet nature of the subject matter and at the presumed need to scrub your child clean of the values you have taught at home for eighteen or so years. Be alert for the symptoms of the Mao-like re-education “classes”. Be sure to protest loudly while holding your checkbook in highly visible even threatening ways.

Third step for parents--- have a serious adult conversation with your son and daughter about your very real refusal to be rolled by these campus frauds. Sure your children can and should happily study liberal arts. Theater, art, architecture, history, language(s), literature, music, and political science are treasure troves to be indulged. Inform them however that there is a line to be drawn, never to be crossed, and that the line begins and ends with phony courses that punish the use of ordinary words. It’s your money so you write the rules. And even more importantly, they are your children. Don’t surrender them to campus brutes and bullies.

Fourth step for parents---go home and have a good stiff drink or two while pondering the wacky world of college. Just remember that your checkbook is your weapon in the war. Do not sleep. Do not disarm.

Tom Finneran is the former Speaker of the Massachusetts House of Representatives, served as the head the Massachusetts Biotechnology Council, and was a longstanding radio voice in Boston radio.