Finneran: Fighting the Kardashian Kulture - Part 1

Finneran: Fighting the Kardashian Kulture - Part 1

Do you remember the good old days? The days when Americans had less money but more character, less free time but more discerning judgement? The days when phony folks like the Kardashians would have been told to stop embarrassing themselves and their country? As Archie Bunker used to say, “those were the days”.

Have you ever seen a family with less talent? That’s some work ethic they have---24/7 grotesque vulgarity, attested to by low-rent paparazzi and no-rent boyfriends. God, they are gross. As are the media outlets which saturate us with Kardashian claptrap. I’m proud to say that I don’t waste a single second of my life on K family antics, other than to worry about a nation that might actually find something of value in their whorish spectacles.

Here then I offer an antidote, borrowed from an old friend, and published here as a public service to those who dream of doing things right:

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10 Old-fashioned Dating Habits We Should Make Cool Again.

1.    Come to the door to pick someone up. Don’t just lean on the horn. (This was a big bugaboo with my father). Get up off your fanny, go to the door, ring the bell, and introduce yourself. This is not hard to do.
2.    Dress nicely for a date. Don’t look like a slob or a slut and don’t mimic a pimp. A date is supposed to be something special.
3.    Bring flowers or some other small gift on a first date.
4.    Go dancing. And simply dance. Skip the grinding on some grimy club floor.
5.    Ask properly, indeed courteously, to take someone out. Don’t trivialize it by calling it “hanging out”.
6.    Be clear when you are “going steady”. Don’t mislead anyone.
7.    Remember that there is romance in poems, notes, and cards. Give it a try once in a while or, when the words just won’t flow from your pen, go with Hallmark.
8.    Turn off electronics and truly be with one another. Admittedly this is the equivalent of torture in today’s world, when no one lifts their eyes from the phone but you might try it. Believe it or not countless generations before us actually found fascination, wonderment, and love in the faces and eyes of other people. Imagine that.
9.    Embrace the general concept of asking permission for things---such as asking the parents if she can stay out a little late or go to the Cape or work on a school project with you. Be sure to read # 10 below.
10.    Do not assume that sex is to be had at any point in time. It’s actually supposed to be very special, and with a special person. You are not a rabbit or a lowdown alley cat. Neither is your friend. Honor and respect each other.

So that’s what dating is……..and you have mastered it. 

You are now officially cool. And you have improved the human condition. Keep up the good work.

Tom Finneran is the former Speaker of the Massachusetts House of Representatives, served as the head the Massachusetts Biotechnology Council, and was a longstanding radio voice in Boston radio.