Ask a Bartender: Do I Get a Free Drink?

Ask a Bartender: Do I Get a Free Drink?

You know the owner. It’s your birthday. You are the first customer of the day. You’re getting married this weekend. You just got fired. You read my column last weekend. You just rescued a cat from a tree. There are countless other reasons you think you deserve a free drink. The bottom line is, not matter how deserving you may be, even if I was already reaching for a cold glass to pour you a drink on the house, the minute you ask for a free drink, all bets are off. Customers who come in looking for freebies are sure to be the most annoying customers of the night. Right up there with the customer who flags you down to check his Keno ticket in the middle of the midnight rush, and the girls who can’t seem to figure out the system to buy each other a round of drinks. They are also the most likely to spend the least amount of money, and continue to come in whining, “but you gave me a free drink last week!”

The owner and the management staff are the only people who decide who gets a free drink. Sadly, the bouncers can only help you get in the door so please stop trying to drag them to the bar with you. In most cases, if something goes wrong with your food order, or there is another mistake that is the bar’s fault, you can expect either a free drink while you wait, or something removed from your bill.

If you and the owner go way back and they know you are in the bar, trust me, they will let the staff know who you are, what you are drinking, and whose tab to put it on. If it’s your birthday, we hope you have the best night ever! We will still need a card to start a tab. Yes, a tab, because we weren’t invited to your birthday soiree, we just happen to be working that night, so we don’t owe you a gift other than a smile and a promise that your tiara doesn’t clash with your bedazzled “BIRTHDAY GIRL” sash.

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Pam Martin bartends at Compass Tavern at 90 Harding Street in Worcester every Friday night and Sunday afternoon.