Fit for Life: Change Your Vocabulary, and Increase Your Value

Fit for Life: Change Your Vocabulary, and Increase Your Value

When you are part of a conversation, do you really listen, and give responses that are meaningful, or do you just spew words to pacify the other person, and show zero interest in what they are saying?

Simple words and phrases will help you determine whether you are truly engaged in conversation with someone or are just there physically and your mind is somewhere else.

I put together a few phrases that you can use to help you understand what level of listener you are and if you are upholding your end of the conversation or are just “yessing” someone to get through it.

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When someone asks you how you are and you say, “I’m good”, what does that really mean? Good, meaning not bad? or good meaning you are an outstanding human being. This type of short generic answer requires no thought, and it really doesn’t mean anything to someone else unless they have a rundown of all your recent activity.

However, if you want to offer something interesting to the conversation, when asked how you are, you can reply with, ”I’m doing great because….my kid graduated from school, or I just got a great promotion at work, or I just played my best game ever, or I worked out and ate clean all week.

Things like that offer something interesting to the conversation, and when you follow up with, “how are things with you”, you become an even contributor to the conversation.

Another vague answer you can give is…” I’ve been busy”.

Ok who isn’t busy these days. Very rarely do you hear people saying they are bored, so we can assume everyone is busy.

However, busy doesn’t always mean productive, so if you want to offer some in-depth insight, instead of the generic “busy” reply you could try…I’m doing great, I’ve been working on lots of projects around the house, or  I have a ton of estimates to get done and deadlines to meet this week.

Now the other person can use your answers to segway into a more meaningful and constructive conversation.

When asked a question that you don’t know the answer to, is your reply “I don’t know?”

Because if it is, that’s a dead-end to any question or conversation.

When faced with a question, you don’t know the answer to, try saying “Good question, I don’t have an answer for you right now, but give me a minute and I can figure it out. I have a rule with my team at work that the phrase “I don’t know” needs to leave our vocabulary.

There are answers to every question, but sometimes you need to think and do some research to figure things out.

The answers are there, so take a few minutes, and avoid the IDK response.

Other responses to questions, or inquiries that you could use instead of the typical responses most people give are…

Instead of using the “I don’t / didn’t have time” be honest and tell someone why you don’t have the time to help or do something with that person.

If something is important to you, you will make the time, if something isn’t, you will make an excuse like “I don’t have the time”.

We ALL make the time for our priorities, and when an emergency arises, we always have the time to tend to the situation, so where does the time magically appear from?

When you didn’t get something done, it was because you spent your time somewhere else, thus making that task a priority.

It doesn’t matter if the task was a good use of time or not, if you invested your time at any given point, that task was your priority at that moment.

So never reply with “I didn’t have the time”, instead say “I had other priorities, and I spent my time there”.

The problem is- the solution is.

Positive people find a solution for every problem, and negative people find a problem for every solution.

So instead of constantly shining a light on the problems happening, or that could happen, offer solutions to the conversation.

Problems don’t add value, but solutions do.

I’ll refer to my work situation again.

My team knows better than to come to me with a problem they can easily solve. When they do, and they tell me the problem, I kindly say, ok so now we know the issue, what’s the solution?

If it’s something that warrants a meeting or other opinion, that’s where we discuss possible outcomes together, however, 99% of all problems with the business don’t need me to handle them, and I can spend my time doing more meaningful tasks.

 

Don’t be one of those people that finds fault with every positive situation.

Don’t talk about plane crashes, or tropical storms when someone tells you they are going on vacation.

Don’t talk about the real estate crash when someone is about to buy a house, and don’t mention coronavirus when someone needs to go to the market and buy food.

 

WE ARE ALL AWARE OF POSSIBLE PROBLEMS, AND MOST OF US NEED SOLUTIONS.

 

Don’t be a negative Nelly.

Go from an “I should” to an “I will” attitude.

I should’ve, is a shameful statement, and should be avoided at all costs.

I should start exercising, I should open an IRA, I should teach my kid to ride a bike, I should call my mother more, are all statements of awareness and acknowledgment that will shame you later on if you don’t take action today.

If you knew years ago that you should’ve exercised, and you have a heart attack or develop diabetes, then you will be ashamed of yourself for not taking action.

If you knew years ago you should’ve started saving, and you become broke later on in life, you will also be required to live with the shame of not taking action.

If your loved one dies suddenly and you didn’t do what you should’ve, then you will live with regret.

So, from this point on, change the “I should to an I will” mindset and start doing what you know you “should” do.

Action steps mean more than bottomless acknowledgments because thinking about something gets you nowhere.

I know these terms and sayings may seem insignificant, however, when you apply these little things to your mindset and vocabulary, you will find them useful over time.

Be a better listener, be more involved in conversations, and solve problems better by twisting a few words, and changing your mindset about different situations, and like magic, you will acquire a better outlook on life itself.

 

Committed to your success,

Matt