Newport Manners & Etiquette: The Engagement Party
Didi Lorillard, GoLocalProv Manners + Etiquette Expert
Newport Manners & Etiquette: The Engagement Party
Q. My husband and I attended a lovely engagement cocktail party that was over-the-top from the thick paper invitation and valet parking, to the excellent canapés that served as our supper. The cocktail party, with well over a hundred well-heeled guests, was at the house of the groom's uncle, whose name was listed on the invitation, along with his wife's, as the only hosts.
Here is our dilemma. We had never met the hosts before but we are very good friends with the groom's parents. We believe we would have never been invited to the party, if we hadn't known the groom's parents. Do we send a thank-you note to the bride and groom, whom we know only slightly, to the groom's parents whom we know well, or to the hosts whom we didn't know and don't expect to ever see again? Nicole, Mattapoisett, MA
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A. Traditionally -- and people rarely give a fig about tradition any more -- the engagement party was to introduce guests, who will be invited to the wedding, to the bride or groom, their families and friends. In the past you would only invite guests to the engagement party who were actually being invited to the wedding. These days it is more than likely that the engagement party includes many who will NOT be invited to the wedding.
Nowadays, young people tend to leave the proverbial home front for more lucrative careers, and thus do not so much find a mate in their family home town; the actual wedding may take place far from either the groom's or bride's family residence.
The engagement party has become perhaps the only opportunity for the parents of the soon-to-be-wed couple to introduce their off-spring's soon- to-be-spouse to their friends and family. With destination wedding cost prohibitive to many, and travel in general complicated and expensive, the engagement party may be for many the only time to meet and celebrate the wedding couple.
Sending the bride and groom an engagement present from their bridal registry (which can be found online or through the parents), would be the kindest way to reciprocate.
In conversation or in an email, tell the groom's parents how much you enjoyed the party, etc., but a good guest would also send a short handwritten thank-you note to the hosts -- the uncle and aunt. By doing that your friends, the groom's parents, will be elevated in the eyes of the hosts. Don't expect an invitation to the wedding, so you won't be sending an actual wedding present in reciprocation for attending the ceremony and reception.
Q. Can I get a few samples of engagement party invitation cards?
S.C., Mumbai, India
A. Certainly. In my opinion, here is the best engagement party invitation wording stating the facts of the event in this order:
- Name of hosts
- Inviting verb
- Type of party
- Purpose of party
- Date
- The hour
- Place
- Special instructions (parking or/and dress code)
- Reply instructions
Didi Lorillard researches manners and etiquette at NewportManners.
20 Reasons Why Fall in New England is the Best Season - 2016
Grape Season at Newport Vineyards
Newport, RI
For wine lovers, this is one of the best times of the year because it's grape season.
There are many great Vineyards around New England but Newport Vineyards tops the list and fall is one of the best times to visit, even if you may need a sweater.
Enjoy the wine.
Wearing Comfy Sweaters while visiting the Mass Audubon Wildlife Sanctuary
Lincoln, MA
Listen to the sounds of birds chirping, see the rabits hopping around happily and so much more when you visit the Mass Audubon Wildlife Sanctuary.
You may need a little sweater but you will not regret the walk, or seeing the wildlife.
Fall Ferry Ride to Block Island
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Start the fall off by sailing away on a ferry to Block Island for the day.
Enjoy the beach, outdoor dining, gift shops or just the views.
International Oktoberfest at Alex & Ani Center
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International Oktoberfest will take pace at the Alex & Ani Center in Providence on Saturday, September 24 and 25.
The festival will include seasonal beer, German cuisine and live music.
One of the main events of the fall season in all of New England.
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The views of Mount Hope Bay are unparalleled. Enjoy some wine with a snack or three while watching the sunset. The chef is known for a well-balanced menu of seasonal treats that uses locally sourced seafood in creative ways.
Celebrate the arrival of fall and sit outside at the Boat House Restaurant.
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Arguably the coolest thing about the fall season is the changing of the leaves. You will want to go up to the Berkshires and stroll through a park or just down a street and take note of all the colors, it's a must do fall activity.
How many colors can you see?
Start of Apple Picking Season at Pippen Orchards
Cranston, RI
There are not to many better fall family activities then to spend a day picking some apples.
Be sure to make the most out of the start of the fall season when you pick Pippin Orchards apples.
Then bring the apples home to make apple pie, apple sauce, or enjoy as they are.
Happy picking!
Bragging Rights on the Line in Final Tennis Matches
Still owe someone a rematch? or maybe just a match in general.
There is still plenty of great weather left to get the match in and the winner of the match takes home bragging rights which they hold for the entire winter.
Game on!
Fall Lineup of Beers
Whether it's Octoberfest from Sam Adams or a pumpkin beer from Harpoon or Newport Storm, it's time to get out to your local bar or store and pick up some of the great fall beers on tap or in stock.
The Deutsche Bank Championship at TPC Boston
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The best golfers in the world are all in Boston for the second leg of the FedEx Cup Playoffs this Labor Day Weekend.
Defending champion Rickie Fowler will look to repeat while superstars Rory McIlroy, Jordan Spieth and Jason Day look to take his title.
Last Golf Rounds of the Season at Harbor Lights
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Take advantage of it at the beautiful Harbor Lights golf course in Warwick.
Learning at Plimoth Plantation
Plimoth, MA
The fall season is Plimoth Plantation's busiest time of year and it is a great time to bring the family.
Visit the Wampanoag Homesite, the 17th-Century English Village, Nye Barn, Craft Center, Plimoth Bread Company, Mayflower II, and the Plimoth Grist Mill!
A great way to learn and have fun at the same time.
Cozy Sweaters at Waterfire
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The evenings do get a bit cooler, however, they are still some of the best nights of the season and the fires are still burning bright in Providence.
Grab your nicest, coziest sweater and head down for an evening of fun, romance and much more.
Foxboro, MA
Every fall for the last 15-16 years, the New England Patriots have entered the season with a chance to win the Super Bowl, in a lot of cases, even favored to win it.
That's pretty cool and is a big reason why fall is the best season in New England.
Although, the first four games of this season may be tricky.
Take a Trip up Mount Mansfield
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Visit Vermont and take a gondola up Mount Mansfield. Once you get to the top, look back at the spectacular view. There are not to many views llike it.
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Last Chance for Outdoor Dining at Caffe Expresso Trattoria
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Caffe Espresso Trattoria has been open for over 20 years as a family owned and operated restaurant. Trattoria offfers authentic Italian home cooking.
Star of Pumpkin Picking at Jaswell's Farm
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Pumpkin picking is a timeless event for families, especially those with young kids who will love to just run around and grab whichever pumpkin looks good to them.
The fall season is all about pumpkins and pumpkin picking is one of the best fall activities going.
PHOTO: Flickr/Glenn Fleischman
Attend King Richard's Faire
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Dive into history at King Richard's Faire, New England's oldest and largest Renaissance Festival and most beloved annual fall event. Dress up, play games and learn alot at a faire that is a great fall event for the entire family.
The Faire starts on September 3 and goes until October 23
Visit Animals at the Zoo One Last Time
It's almost that time of year when the local Zoo's close up shop for the winter. Take the family to see the animals one last time.
The Zoo makes for a great fall day for the entire family.
