It's me, your favorite president, and perhaps your next pope. Conclave.
Well, it's been 100 years since I became president. Excuse me. Days. Wow. Feels longer, but people are saying that what I've done so far has single-handedly helped win people elections, mostly in Canada.
I've also signed 147 executive orders, everything from banning paper straws to defunding PBS. I understand Elmo has now been apprehended by ICE. Brought to you by the letter L for El Salvador.
He's not coming back, but we've got a few new executive orders.
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