Finneran: When Men Were Men, Today Social Slobs
Tom Finneran, GoLocalProv MINDSETTER™
Finneran: When Men Were Men, Today Social Slobs
A few rides on the Red Line this week---none of which derailed---were eye-opening. American men, black, white, and brown, have become self-absorbed slobs. They are zombies with ear buds. They stare vacantly ahead, oblivious to the young pregnant woman struggling to maintain her balance as the train lurches along the rails. They are oblivious to the elderly woman hobbling on a cane as she enters the train. They are oblivious to all things except to their own selfish slouching comfort. Meet today’s physical, mental, and social slobs.
I have very clear memories of men, including frail and elderly men, rising in unison to surrender their seats whenever a woman boarded a train. These were men with manners. These were men with pride. That was at a time when men were men.
GET THE LATEST BREAKING NEWS HERE -- SIGN UP FOR GOLOCAL FREE DAILY EBLASTWe hear about “toxic masculinity” a lot these days. Harvey Weinstein and his fellow pigs have unleashed an urgent and overdue fury. Yet Weinstein’s behavior, and the behavior I see every day has nothing to do with true masculinity. Rather, it has everything to do with selfish ignorance. We have raised at least two generations whose first, second, and third thoughts are all about themselves, their comfort, their convenience, and their pleasure. And before that, there were always the piggish Weinsteins, the Lauers, and the Roses whose celebrity status immunized them from righteous consequence.
Having sated their every little whim and desire, why are we surprised that they act like boors? Courtesy? What’s that they ask? Manners? “Huh”? they grunt. Civility? They have no clue.
Beyond public manners---giving up one’s seat on the bus, holding the door open for a lady, helping a slowing senior across a busy street---there are other yardsticks by which to measure men.
Yardstick number one is housework. Do they help out with the laundry? Do they help out with the vacuum, the broom, and the Swifter? Do they wash the floors?
Yardstick number two is dishes. Do they wash the dishes? Do they scrub the pots and pans? Do they occasionally pitch in and make breakfast or lunch or dinner?
Yardstick number three is diapers. Dirty diapers to be more precise. A good man takes pride in his ability to change a messy diaper. It’s like swishing a long-range three pointer, getting high fives from all one’s teammates. The mother is happy as you have actually done something helpful. The baby is happy with its new diaper and a clean dry bottom. And you got real-time practice for the next diaper change in about three hours or so. Winners all around.
Congratulations to you. You’ve gone old school---back to the day when men were men.
Tom Finneran is the former Speaker of the Massachusetts House of Representatives, served as the head the Massachusetts Biotechnology Council, and was a longstanding radio voice in Boston radio
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