What Should I Have Done? What Would You Do? Dr. Ed Iannuccilli

What Should I Have Done? What Would You Do? Dr. Ed Iannuccilli

I saw him in the corner of my eye as I was driving along behind the bus. He was running and came alongside my car, waving and shouting because he had missed the bus. Too late. Off it sped with a rumble. Assuming he was a student heading for a class, I pulled over, stopped, and gave a short toot. He increased the pace, stopped short, opened the door, and jumped in.

The first thing I noted was that he had an unwieldy, bulging backpack, making it difficult for him to get in and then get comfortable. He wrestled into the seat. He was holding a phone.

Well, he was not young, but rather in his forties, disheveled, thin, near gaunt. His narrow face was lined in the wrong places; his expression deep and haunted; his deep-set eyes as dark as cherries. I took a deep breath, assumed this would be a heist, or worse, and thought “I’m screwed, I’ll be lucky to get out alive.” My mind was marching through a bunch of how-to-get-help things, not the least of which was to lean on the horn. I was in uncharted territory, and he was in my space. The radio was tuned to the classical station.

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I considered him homeless and dangerous. I considered myself as stupid, thinking if I realized his age and appearance, I would never have stopped.

“Where are you going?”

“Providence. I have an appointment in the city.” I thought, “It’s gotta be at the methadone clinic.”

“Where do you live?” He pointed over his shoulder, “My mother lives over there.” His half-smile revealed decay. So, there I figured . . . “a thin guy with bad teeth whose mother lives over there; he’s a homeless addict.”

“How do you feel?”

“I’m OK, but someone stole my backpack when I fell asleep at the bus station last week. My wallet, my phone, everything. That’s why I’m on this phone now waiting for the phone company to restore my service. I borrowed a phone.”

So, by now, well along the way. I had him profiled as a sick (maybe), homeless, (maybe) recovering (maybe), dangerous, drug addict. And that’s what made me edgy. But he seemed like a nice guy, in trouble, going somewhere for help while asking the phone company for assistance. Someone came on the line. “Really, someone stole my phone, and I am trying to get service. Ya gotta help me.”

But I realize now that I was not profiling him in the criminal justice sense. Rather, I was stereotyping him based on my perception of him and his demeanor.

I caught up with the bus and pulled ahead at the next stop. He rambled. “Right here. I’m good here. I have a pass. Thank you so much.”

As he opened the door, I said, “Pay it forward, my friend.”

“Will do. Thank you.”

What should I have done? Maybe keep driving if confronted with the same again.

What would you do?