Balancing Act: Walking the Line Between Work and Play for Healthy Teen Development

By Jason Roderick, School Counselor at Providence Country Day School

Balancing Act: Walking the Line Between Work and Play for Healthy Teen Development

“John,” a high school junior, came to see me with his parents, who were concerned about his steady academic decline. Their initial reaction was to reduce after school activities—to limit John’s winter sports commitment and afford him more time to study. They were stumped when the shift in time allotment didn’t yield any positive results. As I worked with John, it became clear that he was feeling overwhelmed by his academic responsibilities and had started spending a couple hours each night playing video games online with friends to reduce his stress.

John explained that once he started playing he couldn’t quit because his online teammates were counting on him to contribute to the team’s success. It turns out that by engaging in what he perceived as a stress-reducing activity, he was actually increasing the stressors by throwing his free time out of balance. When he eventually got back to his homework, he had spent an inordinate amount of time taking a break and had little time left to complete the tasks at hand. Ironically, the hour and a half that John used to spend participating in afternoon sports would have been a much better vehicle for releasing anxiety than the two plus hours he was spending playing video games. John and I made a plan to reengage him in sports and to limit his video game playing to weekends.

John’s case is not unusual; we can insert almost any high school student’s name here. What we see is that students respond to stress by seeking releases. This can be video games, as in John’s case—or just as often—drugs or alcohol. Regardless, students frequently end up choosing something that is tough to regulate—something that ultimately increases, rather than decreases stress. As a parent it’s easy to label John’s video gaming as a distraction or procrastination, but as a therapist, I aim to identify responsive behavior and determine how well the behavior yields the desired effect. It is important to understand the source of the behavior so we can adjust it and regain balance.

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When John reapportioned his time he benefited from much needed physical exercise: he increased the release of dopamine and endorphins in his brain, he engaged in more live socialization, and he experienced less stress once he was caught up on his work. Behavioral Scientist, Kenneth R. Ginsburgh, MD, MSEd, of the University of Pennsylvania, has studied the essential role of active play in the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional development of children and teens.  With more pressure than ever for students to excel academically, as well as in a multitude of other areas, parents are inclined to forsake “play-time” for academic enhancement activities, music lessons, and travel sports teams, that are perceived as necessary for future success.  He urges parents to consider the point at which their child might be over scheduled at the expense of developmental and emotional health.  He also distinguishes between creative, active activities and passive activities, and suggests that the increase in passive entertainment like TV and video games can undermine age appropriate development and increase stress, as it seemed to do in John’s case.

Free Time

In addition to reconsidering John’s free time, John and I also addressed his study habits and developed strategies for making his study time more efficient. We always factored in time for breaks—for balance—with manageable activities that would help him return with focus and energy.  

Our children are faced with more stressors than we faced when we were their age (or at least very different stressors). Despite conventional wisdom, student anxiety or a drop in academic success is not the result of a full plate so much as the equity of the portions on the plate. And the activity chosen to reduce stress can often be the accelerant that contributes to greater imbalance and stress. As an adolescent therapist, I see young men and women every day whose patterns of behavior present with anxiety—academically, emotionally, psychologically, and physically. In these cases we work hard together to confront individual excesses and find a place of equilibrium.

This time of year presents unique challenges: less sun, more indoor time, less physical activity. Here are some tips for maintaining balance in these winter months and beyond.

Move, Get Outside

Get outside. Yes, no matter how hard it is to walk down your street once the temperatures drop, do it anyway. The decreased amount of sunlight in the winter is only exacerbated by the time we spend indoors, so go for a walk, ski, go sledding. Do something to get a bit of outside time whenever possible.
Hit the gym. Physical activity naturally decreases in the cold season, so try to make up for that outdoor run by going to the gym. No treadmill or stationary bike will replace the wind on your face but it will do the job for both mind and body.
Watch the carbs. Comfort foods can be a real draw in the winter months, but keeping up on good nutrition can also keep us healthier and happier. Focus on protein, fruits, and vegetables.
Get some social time. Hunkering down by a warm fire sounds pretty appealing as the snow piles up outside, but what we really need to survive the winter months is a healthy dose of oxytocin and serotonin—both released in our brains during positive social interaction. Invite some friends over to hang out by the fire with you.

Whether challenged by the winter weather or just feeling the pressure of not enough time to do it all, finding balance is essential for all of us—parents and children alike.  As parents we need to be the gatekeepers of our children’s to do lists—helping to strike the delicate balance that best addresses their developmental needs.  

Go to www.providencecountryday.org for more information.


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