Fit for Life: Stop Saying This

Fit for Life: Stop Saying This

So I have a 17-year-old nephew that moves with as much enthusiasm as a tree sloth.

When I picked him up from school last Tuesday, I tried to pry some conversation out of him in regard to how his day went. All I got were one-word answers in the form of grunts.

 

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Then I told him that in order to have a constructive conversation with someone, he needs to participate and be receptive to what’s being said, or it becomes a one-sided interaction.

 

“I don’t care,” he said, “I don’t feel like talking.”

 

You don’t care? WTF is that supposed to mean, I fired at him. I don’t care is the worst thing anyone can say. Why wouldn’t you care? Then I proceeded to tell him that saying the words “I don’t care” makes him and anyone else that says it sounds insensitive and unempathetic.

 

After dropping him off, I started thinking and pondering what I said to him, and what those words mean. So much so that when I got home, I googled the definition of the word care, and here is what I got:

 

Care:

noun:

⁃the provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something.

⁃serious attention or consideration applied to doing something correctly or to avoid damage or risk.

verb:

⁃feel concern or interest; attach importance to something.

⁃look after and provide for the needs of.

 

Then I thought to myself that body language and actions can dictate our level of care without even saying those three words out loud. Let’s think about that statement for a second, and look at some examples of how your actions can translate to the fact that we don’t care about something or someone.

 

You are notorious late for work: If you are the “type of person” that shows up late, you are saying that you don’t care or respect other people’s time. If you are late for work, and you still get paid for the hours you are scheduled, then you are basically stealing, which is an indication that you don’t care about the financial status of the organization that pays your salary. You feel entitled and don’t care about the impact it has on others.

 

You don’t go to the gym or focus on your nutrition: What you are saying is that I don’t care about my health and fitness. News flash, it’s impossible to care about your well-being, when you don’t take actions to make improvements to yourself on a daily basis. You skip the gym, eat unhealthy garbage, lack sleep and drink excessively are ways of saying you don’t care, without actually saying it.

 

Even worse, if you are a parent, you are subliminally saying that you don’t care about the health of your kids, because leading by example is the best way to influence someone. If asked, no parent want’s sick or unhealthy kids, but actions speak louder than words, so if you truly care, you need to look inward and take the steps to become a role model.

 

Taking it to another level, when you become obese and dependent on medication to make it through the day, you are making an even bigger “I don’t care” statement, because now you are putting a burden on the whole health care system by needing extra care and attention than someone that makes an effort to care for themselves. You are also telling your loved ones that you only care about your feelings and not theirs when something happens to you, which it inevitably will.

 

Sometimes you care about something and don’t even know it, or know you should:

 

I was on a franchise call yesterday and they were discussing how they were revamping our websites for better search engine optimization, and how having this done will positively impact our business.

 

The new web developer did a deep dive in explaining how these new features will help the brand grow to new levels, and crush any competition in the industry when it comes to marketing. I not only cared about what he was saying but was fascinated, enlightened, and extremely excited about what will be happening in the next couple of months.

 

If someone asked me three days ago how much I cared about SEO on our website, I would have given an uninformed shoulder shrug, and said, “not a whole lot.”

 

However, after the presentation, EVERYONE that owns a business that drives traffic to a web site NEEDS to care tremendously about this feature, or you are wasting a lot of money to get subpar results.

 

When someone asks something as simple as “what do you want for dinner” and the response is “I don’t care,” does that person really mean that? They may not care if it’s steak or chicken, but put a plate of liver sautéed in anchovy sauce, and I bet they would care the next time you asked.

 

I was listening to a Joe Rogan Podcast and he talks about eliminating negative and toxic people from your life in order to find a higher level of happiness, and how there are instances when people say they don’t care but really do.

 

Here is a clip from the podcast that really resonated with me:  “I used to like to think my thought process was independent and that I don’t give a fu@k what anybody thinks. That’s nonsense. People say that because they absolutely care what people think, and it bothers them so they say I don’t give a fu@k. But that I don’t give a fu@k stuff is entirely nonsense. You do care. And you care in both ways. You care if people are critical of you, and you care if people think positively of you. But you also need to care if people are living positive lives and motivating you to do the same.”

 

So there it is.

The next time you say you don’t care, or your actions dictate the same, stop and assess the situation.

Take a deep dive and look within.

When you focus on the things that are important to you, you will realize that you do care.

When you care enough, you will take the necessary actions to create ways to improve not only your health and well-being but happiness and concern for others.

 

 

Committed to your success,

Matt